Harry Potter and the AroundTheWorld Jewel
by bLck-hUm0R
Summary: One jewel that started it all, Harry's weirdest adventure yet! Hahahaha.......precioussssssss.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hehehehehehehehe........preciousssssssssssssssssss...  
  
Chapter 1 -The journey that shouldn't begin begins  
  
Harry: Hey Ron! Hermione had just invented the ATW jewel! (Around The World)  
  
Ron: Huh? What? Who's Hermynee? What's an ATM jewel?  
  
Harry: Dang! You've eaten Fred & George's Forget-everything-and-be-stupid candy!  
  
Ron: Err excuse me, who the heck are you?  
  
Harry: Don't worry Ron, the effect will last about....360 hours! No sweat!  
  
Harry rushes to Hermione and tell her about the incident.  
  
Hermione: Fine. He's not the only stupid one to eat it. Look at Dean and Seamus. They went havoc and attacked Dumbledore. He's in the hospital wing.  
  
Harry: Dang! Let's use this jewel of yours and find the cure!  
  
Hermione: Good idea. Egypt would be a best start.  
  
The duo used the jewel and transported themselves to Eygpt.  
  
After 500 hours in the Sahara Desert..  
  
Harry: This is sooooooooooo boring! All I see is tons of thirsty muggles begging us for water. How come that never affect us?  
  
Hermione: Huh? We actually drink water? That's something new.  
  
Harry: What!? You don't know we drink water!?  
  
Hermione: All I remember, we always drink Butterbeer or pumpkin juice.  
  
Harry: Oh,yeah..right.  
  
After another 500 hours...  
  
Harry: Boooooorrrrrrrriiiinnnnnnggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huh? Hey, Hermione! Come quick!  
  
Hermione: What?  
  
Harry: I saw Lupin and Sirius naked, sunbathing on the hot sand!  
  
Hermione: What!? I don't see'em!  
  
Harry: But I saw them waving at me.  
  
Hermione: That's just a mirage.  
  
Harry: Oh, dang!  
  
After yet another 500 hours...  
  
Hermione: (sigh) What are you reading?  
  
Harry: (keeping the magazine away) Huh? What?  
  
Hermione: (looking suspicious) Gimme that magazine.  
  
Harry: What? NO! It's mine! You can't have it!  
  
Hermione: (waving her wand) Wingardium Leviosa!  
  
Harry: H.hey!  
  
Hermione: (examine the magazine) Huh? What's this..'PORNest Moments of Muggles' Livehood'  
  
Harry: Err..errr.  
  
Hermione: Where did you get it!?  
  
Harry: Some weirdo passes by and gave it to me.  
  
Hermione: I never see anyone pass by.  
  
Harry: It's errr..very hard to explain.  
  
Hermione: (very angry) Where DID you get it!?  
  
Harry: I told you it's very hard to explain.  
  
Hermione: (pointing the wand on Harry) Where did you get it?  
  
Harry: I told you its very hard to expla..ok, ok. It's that stupid camel!  
  
Hermione: A camel gave you a dirty magazine?  
  
Harry: Err,no! It's more like a scorpion!  
  
Hermione: A scorpion gave you a dirty magazine?  
  
Harry: Err no! It's the other way round sort of way.  
  
Hermione: So a half scorpion half camel gave you that magazine? Where did it come from?  
  
Harry: Err..Knockturn Alley?  
  
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How would the duo escape these stinky dunes of shit? Chapter 2 will come soonnnnnnnnnn....... 


	2. Chapter 2

I am JOHNNY! JOHNNY BRA-vo.  
  
Chapter 2- Get f**ked, help and water  
  
After yet another 500 hours..  
  
Hermione: OK! I'M GETTING F**KED UP BORED HERE HARRY!  
  
Harry: Hermione! What did you just say?  
  
Hermione: Huh? Say what?  
  
Harry: That word 'F**ked'.  
  
Hermione: Oh, that word.. well that I've found it in that magazine of yours.  
  
Harry: Oh, that word. What does that word mean? You said out a word you don't even know the meaning?  
  
Hermione: Err..yeah.  
  
Harry: Hey, there's a passer by. Let's ask him. Excuse me, we need some help.  
  
Man-going-to-die: Huh? Duh?  
  
Harry: Can you tell me what does "F**k" mean?  
  
Man-going-to-die: He.help...help me...  
  
Hermione: So it meant "help"?  
  
Man-going-to-die: Wa..water.water..  
  
Harry: So there's a second meaning too. "Water" right?  
  
Hermione: To summaries this, the word "F**K" meant "help" and "water".  
  
Man-going-to-die:..(died).  
  
Harry: Thanks a lot muggle.  
  
Finally, the duo reached a city..  
  
Hermione: We need to ask for directions. Let's ask that lady.  
  
Harry: Ok. Excuse me lady, can you please "f**k" us?  
  
Sexy Bitch: Huh? What?  
  
Hermione: We need help. So can you please "f**k" us?  
  
Sexy Bitch: You wanna "f**k" ?  
  
Harry: Sorry, we don't need water now. We need directions to a place where they can "f**k" us.  
  
The duo went into a bar called "Sweet Paradise"  
  
Waitress: Can I serve you?  
  
Hermione: Please give us two glasses of water, er I mean two "f**k"s.  
  
Waitress: ??????  
  
Harry: I mean give us two glasses of "f**k"s, please.  
  
Waitress: Holy..two glasses of "f**k"s?? God.I wander the manger have them..  
Hold on please,Sir.  
  
Harry: Oh, please be fast!! It's been ages since we last had our "f**K"!  
  
Waitress: OH GOSH!!  
  
The waitress ran to the manager's room immediately.  
  
Waitress: Mr. Moron! There are two freaks out there wanting two glasses of "f**k"s.  
Is this the way some people say when they wanted sex??  
  
Mr Moron: Minerva...i know this is your first day at work...but Dang!! Show them to me!!  
  
The waitress walked out of the manager's room and went to Harry and Hermione's table.  
  
Waitress: Erm...Sir and Ma'am..my manager, He-who-must-not-be-named-but- have-a-name-that-sucked  
Would like to see you both in his room now, if you don't mind.  
  
Hermione and Harry both exchanged looks and nodded.  
  
Hermione & Harry: Oh... sure!  
  
On the way to the manager's room.  
  
Hermione: Harry.don't u think it's funny?  
  
Harry: Errr.what's so funny..?  
  
Hermione: I mean.we only want a drink of water.but this muggle's boss wanted to see us.  
  
Harry: Oh..I'm not too sure 'bout that..maybe it's because that we are foreigners.and it's the Egyptian custom?  
  
Hermione: Maybe...and dang! Her boss's name is so weird... He-who-must-not- be-named-but-have-a- name-that-sucked?  
  
Waitress: Mr. Moron, here they are.  
  
(Harry:No wonder! His name's Moron! (smirks) )  
  
(Hermione: Quiet Harry!)  
  
Mr. Moron: Thank you Minerva. You may go out now.  
  
(Harry: Minerva?! What the hell...)  
  
(Hermione:Shhh!! Harry!)  
  
Waitress: Thank you, Sir.  
  
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Non-Harry Potter fans and those other "people" might like this. Hehehehehe..... 


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